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"The Healing Power of Honesty: Releasing Unhealthy Thoughts in Your Grief"

Woman looking into mirror- honest in grief
Woman looking into mirror-honest in grief

Embracing Honesty in Grief

If you're like me, the flood of "what-ifs" and "should haves" can be paralyzing. Our minds, if we allow them, can replay every decision, every moment with painful scrutiny:

What if they were in a lot of pain?

What if I had acted faster?

I should have been more attentive…

I shouldn't have left their side…

Are thoughts like these or the ones you have personally helpful or harmful? What does this do to your heart, mind, body, and soul? These thoughts can be destructive and lock us in a cycle of guilt and regret. In these moments, honesty must become our hero, not our adversary.

Honesty can be terrifying if we allow it to be the boogyman instead of the hero in our grief journey.

Allowing honesty to be the hero in our grief journey can be empowering instead of terrifying. So, beloved friends, let's get honest and let the healing begin because there is hope!

Woman Reflecting
Woman Reflecting

Today is a new day. You woke up with a continuous heartbeat, seamless breaths in your lungs, and a fresh start.

Yes, a fresh start.

Each day, we are given the same twenty-four hours as everyone else. God

did that intentionally, so we all are on an even playing ground.

In our twenty-four hours, we have many choices. We can choose what we believe, what we think, what we feel, how we respond, what we allow to make us bitter, what we allow to make us better, what rubs off on us, what we contribute to others, and so on.

Remember how I previously shared that a good question to ask ourselves

is, "Is this thought helpful or harmful?"

Our thoughts lead to words, and our words lead to actions. Examining our thoughts to see the value they hold and the control they display can be an eye-opening experience.

Let me be frank here. We can cause ourselves needless suffering with unhealthy thoughts, especially when we are hurt, angry, and downright emotionally overwhelmed.

Beloved friend, I encourage you to be willing to examine your thoughts as you navigate through your grief and healing journey. It's very natural to ruminate on negative thoughts, but this is just stinkin' thinkin'.

It doesn't do anything to serve your peace of mind or help you move forward—especially when these thoughts can't be reconciled with facts.

Try to capture your thoughts and reframe them around what you do know and what you can control so you don't spend unnecessary time thinking about the wrong things. This practice will bring peace to your heart and mind while keeping you on solid ground.

Remember, releasing unhealthy thoughts is a gradual process, and taking small steps toward cultivating a more positive and compassionate mindset is okay.

By examining your thoughts and letting go of those that no longer serve you, you can create space for healing and growth during your grief journey.

Rachel Shirley ready to plant roses and take a much needed break from work to say "Hi"
Rachel Shirley is ready to plant roses and take a much-needed break from work to say "Hi."

Final Encouragement:

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.


You are not alone in this! It's natural and normal to let our thoughts go bonkers while grieving the loss of our sweet ones.

It is a choice, though...choose to take your thoughts captive and align them with what our Heavenly Father says about are a masterpiece made in His image, and when you ask Him, He is ready to give you the strength and perseverance you need to make it through your grief in a healthy way.

Even though we have to go through tough losses in life, we can be kind to ourselves, gentle with ourselves, and give ourselves the grace and compassion we would a friend going through a significant loss such as ours.

From my heart to yours,



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